it's not about me.

"It's not about me."

At camp last year, I believe this motto slowly became ingrained in us counselors throughout the summer. At least in me.

And it's hard to believe that in just a few weeks I will be back at camp, probably relearning this same concept.

Because I am human. And I have a huge issue with this thing called pride.

Being humble hurts. And it's frustrating. And uncomfortable. And I doubt that I will ever not continually have my pride humbled.

But you see. This does not just apply to camp.

Let me back up.

In high school, I didn't really fit in. I went to a private school and just grew up in a different environment than the kids around me. And since I did not have tons of friends, and wasn't fantastic at sports, I had my grades. I took pride in them, I excelled at them.

I mean, I was a smart cookie. And that is where I tended to find my identity.

I come to college, and I am still a smart kid. I still take pride in my grades, my scholarships.

But you see, when something becomes so consuming, I think that's when some people would say you need to take a step back. Because there is a big picture you may be missing.

And the big picture is, my gpa does not matter to someone who needs to hear the gospel. My grades, or ranking in a program, or ability to one-up other students does not matter in eternity.

Rather, isn't it my heart that matters? And the fantastic part is that my heavenly Father doesn't look at me and see my imperfections when the thing I take pride in crumbles and I become humbled, instead he sees his perfect son.

And I can be thankful that life is not going the way I planned it.

Because my plan is not always the best plan.

My plan is not always God's plan.

Because, honestly, it's not about me.